Work In Progress

This time last year looked very different for me.  It included early mornings, meditation, some reading, cooking, errands, writing.  I indulged in tending the vegetable garden, hanging flower baskets and flower beds and sitting in my small world of my back deck, visiting the birds, with a warm dog on my lap and one at my feet.   I indulged in comfortable, stretchy skirts and tights, lots of bare feet that allowed me to move and flow and feel connected to my body and the world around me.  Visits with Sista and her Lemon on Thursdays provided support and love and laughter.  The backyard second home was up and Youngest and I indulged in fresh, outdoor, cricket serenaded sleepovers almost every night. I smiled more, and people smiled back.  I slept better, ate better, exercised more and practised self-care so that I could be a better me---for me.   (Which has the lovely side effect of making you a better you for those around you!) Now, I am ...

February is here and the ground hog, at least the one I listen to, Wiarton Willie has said that spring will come early this year. I struggle to keep my optimism afloat as I look out the window today at the 2.5 feet of snow that fell overnight, cancelling school, busses and even closing my place of work! Still, I like this better than the dull grey skies suffocating the world and clogging up my brain.   The snow is fluffy and white, and while I cannot get Youngest out of bed most school day, I am in awe of how quickly the opportunity to enjoy a day off school that is NOT a weekend will launch him from his bed!  I predict backyard dog wrestling will be followed my me dog wrestling a snowball packed canine into a tub to de-snowballize her. Everyone is home, except oldest, and half of us have showered and are dressed. Once the snow slows down it is all hands on shovels and the snowblower. Seven o'clock found me on the back deck in my pj's and boots, frantically shovell...

I feel like we flipped from winter to summer and skipped spring all together. Everything is suddenly green, I have mowed the lawn twice and all I want to do is get my hands into the earth and start planting things.  Each day, I "tour" my small backyard garden to evaluate the new appearances and there seems so much to do to get ready.   I can't help but to make comparisons to my life.  I have gone from "on long term disability" to someone waiting for the rehabilitation specialist to call (which I thought, would be quite quickly after receiving his e-mail that he would call....) to get started back to work.  Again, I feel like there is a lot of work to do!   Three times a week I Body Flow and Zumba my way away from the evil scale numbers; not yet where I would like to be; the summer before last's capri pants remain unbuttonable.  Combined with cutting out wheat and sugar for over a month, I was able to edge away from the number on the scale I had...

I have quoted Star Wars before in some of my posts and I seem to be reaching back to one line that you hear a variation of in  each and every movie. "I've got a bad feeling about this." It's not so much the doom and gloom of the quote, (since every time someone says that, of course there is some imminent crisis to thwart),  but the intuitive nature of each of the characters that say it.  They know something is wrong---whether they have dropped into a trash compactor or are in the stomach of a space slug, each of them gets this "gut" feeling that something is not right. It's about intuition.   Faced with doubt about the likelihood of their undertaking, each character faces or braces for the bad feeling to turn into a bad thing. Nobody runs away. If you feel.....if you really deep down in your core...all internal voices saying, "THIS IS A BAD IDEA"....and we have the choice (ie to fly out of the slug's belly before ...

I have been struggling to sit quietly and recognize what resonates within my heart...what makes it sing and dance and feel joy and light....I have recognized I practically glow in an environment of learning.   I've told this story before--but this is a quick summary for my IMG classmates. Returning to University at 34, a single mom, starting a Masters in Library and Information Science, (half way across the country from where I was living, but close to my family), I could not believe that my sole job for each three hour lecture was to sit, with coffee in hand, consuming, interpreting, assessing and questioning the words that filled the air with potential and purpose. Sometimes I would catch myself smiling for no reason, certainly not when deadlines piled up and papers were due, but in the stillness of the lecture hall, I felt it hard to contain the giddiness that bubbled in my heart. That was 13 years and one breakdown ago.  This feeling was rekindled when I tool my ...