Work In Progress

Everywhere you look--on posters and bumper stickers, blogs and bookshelves... practically shouting at us, is the call to arms  to "FIND YOUR PURPOSE".  (Which without your glasses on could be mistaken for find your PORPOISE which got my 11 year old excited). Frankly, I think he had it right.   Finding a porpoise is a hell of a lot easier (and more exciting) than finding your purpose.  If I open a book or check on the "Interweb", I can actually be told where I can locate a porpoise and go see it. DONE. (Vancouver acquarium has two named Jack and Daisy.  Here is their schedule. Go nuts.) Every book on finding your PURPOSE? One disappointment after another. Fair enough, most of them tell you straight out that your answer will not be found among their pages, which then makes me think: "Ok so your purpose is to publish books and drive people crazy.  Good job assh*le.  You accomplished your purpose." But once in awhile, ...

This week I had an appointment with Talk Doc, my therapist/psychologist. All this research about personality types and radical acceptance had me feeling purrrr---it----tteeeee goood and even as I drove to her office I was thinking:   What will we talk about?   The last time I had seen her was early March, feeling like a wet dog, soaked in self-doubt, dripping fear and self-loathing about my inability to manage my new job role after the IT manager quit and I needed to pick up his tasks. She assured me I was NOT crazy and that the expectations work had set were indeed, unrealistic.   It had been two months since then, so I caught her up.  The first two weeks I cocooned and watched a lot of TV.  Then..... ...I bought a new van,  painted  and redecorated almost all the rooms in our house, (built a LOT of IKEA furniture), refinished our deck, donated two dozen bags of clothes and misc 'crap' to local charities----emptied, fi...