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Showing posts from May, 2016

ARGH!! How to Accept When Things go to SHITE!

This is a new one to me, and I continue to struggle with the acceptance part--mostly due to how I define acceptance.  

In my mind acceptance means defeat followed by inaction---there is nothing you can do, after all, if you accept it.

I am of the Dylan Thomas "Rage, rage against the dying of the light...." philosophy on this one.

(Mostly I just want to punch this welcome sign!!! pffffffffff.....not so fast.)
Sista is reading a book that talks about acceptance, including how you have no control and how willpower is useless because we never stick to it and fighting against what is, is exhausting and just fills you with negativity.
I try to listen to the words she is saying when she tells me about this book.  

I can see it is important to her.  But the "you have no control" and "willpower and promises don't work so give them up," part is not in my wheelhouse. 

Sounds like a great hall pass to me.  (Not the movie...sigh...don't watch the movie...not THAT kin…

Putting the Personality Puzzle Together

Youngest is 11 now and has grown a new appendage.  It's called his phone, which in reality is just an alternative gaming device in his eyes.  
Good news is, he is usually quick to answer it if I call him because he usually has it in his hand.  Bad news, his "clashing of clans"  or "dashing of geometry" prompt radical mood changes on the success or failure of little armies and racing cogs.
Spouse and I are as much to blame in some ways.  Sometimes it is easy to just let them quietly I can quietly be.
However, as last Christmas approached, we all had a discussion about family and finding more balance between games, reading, tv, movies, etc.   
Santa Clause must have heard us and brought us a few puzzles for Christmas. So in early January, with a week before school was back in and Middle at his mom's and Oldest back at school, I busted out one of the puzzles, poured some hot cocoa and started the long task of flipping over the 1000 pieces so we could …

Personality Types - Digging Even Deeper - Type C and D?

So I thought I had a handle on this....... "Type A"..."Type B". 

I am clearly a "Type A"---with a slow to arrive "Type B" that strolls in for herbal tea and yoga after I have been feeding my soul and NOT at work for an extended period of time.  ( I really like her!!!)
However, "Type A" and "Type B" emerged as labels for how people respond to stress and were employed, and were later tested in a later experiment to see if these "types" could predict coronary heart disease----- in men----- over 60 years ago----.  The experiment didn't factor in women or the stress reduction medication and techniques available to assist with coping with stress today.
Damn.  I thought I was done.

But instead I will dig a little deeper (ok a lot deeper), to get a more full picture back to Hippocrates (c. 460-c.3 70 BC), the father of modern medicine, who identified four "temperaments". These "temperaments" were ma…

Getting to Know My Neighbor in Type B

As a self identified "Type A" behavior "enthusiast", getting to know my neighbor in "Type B" might help me get a handle on why I too often feel like I am banging my head against a wall at work.   
But before I get too far, after all, there are a bazillion "self assessment" tests out there from, "What potato chip flavor are you?" to "Which Prince outfit are you?"
In the 1950's, two cardiologists, Friedman and Rosenman used Type A and Type B as a way to describe behavioral responses associated with how male patients with heard conditions responded to stress in their waiting room.   
They observed that some of the men actually wore down the edges of the seats from sitting poised on the edges of the seat and jumping up frequently, (labelled Type A) while others were able to relax in their seats and the wear on the chairs was focused more evenly (labelled Type B).  
They went on to investigate further, testing and proving at that …

Embracing Type A - More to Learn

The more I read, the more I learn. (What is it they say about a little knowledge is a dangerous thing?)

The more I learn the more I start to resentfully acknowledge,  through gritted teeth, that my therapists MAY be right---awareness is the first step. So this is what I am learning about Type A behavior/personality. Who You Are vs. Situational Reaction: Researchers believe that Type A personality characteristics may be more of a reaction to environmental factors, or reactions toward certain behaviors, and are influenced by culture and job structure. This rings true to me for what I am going through right now.   Type A behavior includes 100% investment in the work you do--home or work. 

Everything you take on is important AND valuable with a goal of making other people's lives better -- which in turn, makes your life better through feeling a sense of value and self-worth.  This is why it feels so devastating when others, through indifference or incompetence, are not likewise invested.