Work In Progress

I have been checking in with Malaika (my Inner Wisdom/Super Heroine --see previous post), each day since we met.  She is me, and yet she is not me, and by being only the wise, strong, unconditional loving, fluid parts of me, she can slow down time and provide me with space, time and nourishment to do the hard work. Right now, that includes looking at my Inner Mean Girls and redeploying them in a “helping” instead of “hindering” way.  It’s tough because I have five Inner Mean Girls that are all rolled into one.  Yolanda represents them all and she is the face of all the insidious whispers. Finding a new job for her is pretty easy.  All I need to do is turn her around.  Her arms crossed, the contempt on her face, her rulers ready to measure everything; this would surely silence the whispers. She would let them rant, her skeptic eyebrow raise enough to make them quiet down when they realized they were getting nowhere.  In fact, I think when the ...

Week 1 to 7 of Inner Mean Girl Reform School (IMGRS) focused a lot on identifying the inner critics whose running dialogue keep me small, quiet, angry, disconnected, anxious, depressed and exhausted.  My Inner Mean Girls include: a perfectionist: who constantly whispers --you're not good enough--at anything--ever--start over or don't even try it! a superwoman : who takes on too many things and berates me for all the things I didn't do and forgets all the things I did accomplish a comparison queen: who tells me I fall short of everyone's expectations or conversely, that I am better than everyone and they are idiots a doing addict: who runs from task to task--growing a list that can never be accomplished--and that keeps me distracted and frantic and exhausted and unavailable an achievement junkie (close cousin to the doing addict): who sets innumerable goals for me to reach and when I do, blasts past that one to the next...