ADHD at 58....Can That be True?

It's come up several times through a variety of people, websites and doctors as I navigate my decades long mental health challenges.  At 20, I was told it was anxiety, at 30, it was bi-polar
disorder type 2, at 43 it was major depressive disorder with anxiety, and at 55 we swung back
around to bipolar.   Each of these "episodes" lasted from 2-3 years and impacted my ability to work.  Thank goodness each place I worked had excellent LTD.   Seems like every 10 or so years the cycle swings back around and knocks me on my ass regardless of what's going on.  
It's frustrating.  

When my ex-husband left me 6 months into my pregnancy and 9 months into our marriage, you would think this would be one of those times.  Emotional collapse?  Deep dark depression?  Nope.  I responded to that by doing the hard work to move from part time to full-time work, bought a house, and stayed strong so I could bring my son into the world heathy and happy. I even reconciled with his dad for a bit, before we realized it was over.
Instead, it snuck up on me when I least expected it.  

I was a teacher at a grade 8-10 school in northern British Columbia.  I had been teaching long enough that I knew all the basics and was enjoying upping my game through creative new lesson plans.  I was "on" at work.  I was a rock star and was connecting with my students, even though the school board had cancelled the improv, film studies and theatre arts courses I had developed for them and enjoyed teaching the most. Those losses were disappointing, so I threw myself into connection building and high level engagement with my English classes.   
What did it was the change. 

Three weeks into the school year the school realized they had not budgeted for an appropriate student/teacher ratio and needed to re-timetable the entire school, which meant all new classes would be generated from the central scheduling program.  I was going to lose all my students I had worked so hard to build a solid foundation with.  When I reviewed my new class lists I noticed I had 4 students well known to have failed the year and had some big personality issues.   I went to my VP and principal to complain and was told, it you want to, you can call some other teachers to see if they will take one or two of these kids.   It was Friday after school and classes were scheduled to start on Monday.  I was desperate.  I made the calls.  Each teacher refused.  

I left the school that day, shell shocked, and in tears, and made an appointment to see my doctor who gave me a note for 2 weeks off for stress leave.  I contacted the schools Employment Assistance Program's office and booked an appointment with a therapist, that resulted in her telling me "I cannot help you when you are like this.  I can't understand you through the crying.  Come over here right now and call your doctor and ask for an emergency appointment so you can get some pharmaceutical support so we can talk."

And that was that.  For the next six months I hid in my room, (I lived across the street from the school I worked at so never left the house during the school day except for appointments.)  I cleaned out my desk during March Break when no one would be there and eventually left BC and returned to school to try something different. 

  
I went back to school.  And here again, is one of those times you would think I would be falling apart. But one year after I left teaching I was enrolled in a Maters of Library Information program back in my home town in Ontario.  I had to pack up my life, take out loans, leave my newly purchased house and hope for the best.  I moved in with my mom for a few months, not a good idea. Took classes, did an 8 month co-op, moved out of my mom's and eventually lost my house to the bank.   Mental collapse?  Nope.  Stress?  Yes.   But worked through it, graduating on the Dean's list all while killing it as a single mom pulling up huge debt.

  
The other "breaks" at 43 and 55 followed similar paths.  Work was the driver of decline. Years of therapy have made me recognize that I get incredibly invested in my work, whatever that is, and am unable to see or manage burn out in the early stages.   Either that, or I ignored the signs.   Like at my most recent job.  When I had the opportunity to move from part-time to full-time I knew that meant more meetings, more obligations and my friends and family all warned me to stick with what I was doing as the added responsibilities would cause the all familiar burn out.  

  
But back to the original point of this post.  I am currently off work and again lucky to be able to rely on LTD to maintain my way of life without having to worry about bills.  At a recent appointment with my family doc, he asked me if I had ever been diagnosed with ADHD.  I told him no and we moved on.   With my psychiatrist the following week I brought up the ADHA question.  Unlikely, he said.  You would know by now.  I thought the issue was closed until they both brought it up a few months later, so I started to do some digging.

ADHD in adult women often looks like inattention, executive dysfunction, emotional sensitivity, and perfectionism, rather than overt  hyperactivity. Recognizing these patterns is 

crucial for proper diagnosis and support. With appropriate treatment, including therapy, 

coaching, lifestyle adjustments, and 

sometimes medication, women with ADHD can manage symptoms effectively and thrive in daily life (Cleveland Clinic. 2023).

Common symptoms include:
Adult women with ADHD typically experience inattention and executive functioning difficulties more prominently than hyperactivity or impulsivity. Common signs include:

• Difficulty focusing and sustaining attention, often zoning out during conversations or tasks, and struggling to complete projects (Cleveland Clinic, 2023)
• Forgetfulness and disorganization, such as missing deadlines, misplacing items, or forgetting appointments (ADDA Editorial Team, 2025)
• Chronic overwhelm and mental clutter, feeling frazzled or mentally scattered evn when appearing composed externally. 
• Procrastination and difficulty starting tasks, especially those that are important but not immediately urgent. (Psychology Today, 2026).
• Emotional dysregulation, including heightened sensitivity, mood swings, and frustration with self or others. (ADDA Editorial Team, 2025).
• Perfectionism and masking behaviors, where women overcompensate by over-preparing, doublechecking work, or hiding symptoms to meet societal expectations (Psychology Today, 2025).

It feels good to read this list.  It's an exhale into my body, though it doesn't alleviate the years of punishment these symptoms have caused.   More to come as I dig in to this to find out what now?  What's next?  How do I use this information to help me as I slowly come out of this newest off work period.

 Work Cited

ADDA Editorial Team. (2025, Nov. 12). ADHD in women: signs, symptoms, and Treatment. Understanding ADHD. ADHD in Women: Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment - ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, Feb.15). ADHD in women. ADHD in Women: Symptoms, Diagnosis & Treatment

Psychology Today. (2026, Feb. 25). How is ADHD different in women than it is in men?:Why so many high-achieving women miss the signs of ADHD. How Is Adult ADHD Different in Women Than It Is in Men? | Psychology Today