So I bought the book. It's smaller than I thought it would be. Since I am always hoping that the solution to an problem can be found if you just look long and hard enough, I'm still not sure if short means it's an easy solution, or no solution at all.
The book itself has some singing endorsements from many self-help gurus who I don't know other than by name. It's disheartening to me to realize that there are thousands of folks out there preaching their brand of "if you just knew this, did this and continued to strive for excellence every day" because if any of them had the real secret (ah yes, then there is "The Secret") we would only really need one book/podcast/app etc.
Thirty years ago the self help section at Chapters filled one rack top to bottom. Looking for this book, I had to wander through ISLES of self-help, wellness and spirituality before I found what I was looking for. How Chapters has evolved into a pillow/candle/water bottle/stationary/games/tech hub---I don't want to even go there.
At 140 pages, the first i-xix cover the history of the Toltec wisdom in the book and the principle that we are all made of light, the world is this light/energy and as such, we are all connected to each other and our actions a reflection of each other. The next section then defines the way the world is currently functioning, describing how it is a hell on earth in the way we think, act and speak to each other in such a negative fashion. We don't see each other as reflections of self, but as individuals who are right and think right and do right and actively seek out ways to show how right we are and how wrong someone else may be.
This negativity is something we were programed with from birth (and before if you want to think about generational continuity). Our parents, school, church etc. programmed our brains to seek the pleasure of doing or being right in the eyes of others, and we agreed with the programming. This programming was reinforced over and over until the truth of it no longer matters. So if you were told as a child that you are too loud and are punished through word or action, you may accept this and an agreement is formed. Your brain then sets out to accept more negative programming that helps keep you in this state of hell on earth. It's possible you pass on these judgements to others, or judge others on something else that helps you feel more positive about your own weaknesses and your brain becomes a fertile ground for planting seeds of negativity, which are nurtured each time we touch that idea or run that program of "being loud means no one wants to be with me. I am unlovable when I am myself".
This first part lays the foundation of a place where we are all under a spell that keeps us grinding away looking for ways to reinforce our negative programing. The entire planet is operating this way which keeps everyone working in an oppressed, predictable way.
Trying to find a way to insert new programming is the challenge. How do we rewrite years of external and internal dialogue that keeps us stuck in this place where no one is able to see themselves as part of the shared human experience. We are ourselves, but we are also part of humanity, yet we cannot see that what we believe and act upon in a negative way, is also acting on us in a negative way.
The first chapter of the book then deals with the First Agreement which is to be impeccable with your word. Don Miguel Ruiz says this is the hardest of the four agreements to live by, but in doing so, you can create a heaven on earth instead of the hell we live in daily.
When we think of "word" we need to remember that it is not just the spoken word, but the words we use to talk to ourselves in the darkest parts of our brain. Thoughts that linger and live on repeat that we don't even recognize because they are just part of the daily buzz of life. Things like "You should really be exercising to manage the weight you put after your hurt your back. You look horrible! How dare you eat that. You will feel worse after and have zero control over yourself. You are weak and everyone can see how fat you have gotten and will be disgusted".
Somewhere along the line, through social media, family, friends, tv, we accepted the programming that fat is gross and lack of motivation is weakness and your value as a person diminishes with every bite and hour on the couch.
Next post, I will dive into the first agreement more. I have read this one 4 times. I would suggest it is nothing we haven't heard before. My CBT therapists would identify this as taking the time to challenge each thought (the word) as the foundation of the emotional reaction it causes. Or more often, holding that emotion in your heart long enough to trace the thread backward to what thought cased that emotion, challenge the validity of the thought, rewrite the thought and continue to work on reprogramming your brain.
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