Sunday, 25 October 2015

And So it Goes.....

Today I acknowledge that I feel like lying in bed and closing my eyes.
It feels like a good idea.
It's quiet behind my eyes.
There is nothing going on there.
I like the sound of that.

Today I recognize that I would like to eat all day.
Cookies.
Chips.
Crackers.
Licorice.
Preferably one after the other.

Today I accept that Youngest may be on his device WAY more than normal.
My mind is busy sleeping and eating cookies and I can't hold his blurrrrr of video game chatter in my head.

Today I can't hold much of anything.
Today is too much to hold.

I have these sorts of days every now and again, though they seem to come more often lately.  Maybe it is the weather; the twinkle star night velvet sky dominates the sky for too long each day.  Wind. Cold.

My shoulders whisper their concern to my ears . My tongue worries my teeth and every hang nail has been harried bloody.  

The ache of day long gardening lingers in my joints, my muscles---except there was no gardening.

Bursts of nerve pain, like sparklers on Canada Day, fire along my lower back.  It is like BEFORE.  When it all fell apart.

So today is not a good day.

The clock says 11:30 AM and I am wishing it was bedtime so that this day, this NOT GOOD day was over.

That is different than BEFORE.  Now I know it is just a day.  One day.  We all have bad days.

So today I may snuggle on the couch with a blanket and my dogs.  Tonight it might be toast and eggs for dinner because I just cannot face the grocery store, or the oven, or the table or a plate......

And today, I will write this all down ....



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