Skip to main content

Wellness Weekend in February

February is here and the ground hog, at least the one I listen to, Wiarton Willie has said that spring will come early this year.
I struggle to keep my optimism afloat as I look out the window today at the 2.5 feet of snow that fell overnight, cancelling school, busses and even closing my place of work!
Still, I like this better than the dull grey skies suffocating the world and clogging up my brain.  
The snow is fluffy and white, and while I cannot get Youngest out of bed most school day, I am in awe of how quickly the opportunity to enjoy a day off school that is NOT a weekend will launch him from his bed!  I predict backyard dog wrestling will be followed my me dog wrestling a snowball packed canine into a tub to de-snowballize her.
Everyone is home, except oldest, and half of us have showered and are dressed. Once the snow slows down it is all hands on shovels and the snowblower. Seven o'clock found me on the back deck in my pj's and boots, frantically shovelling a path for the dogs to get out to pee.....
They looked at me doubtfully and I actually had to pick them up and set them outside.  No way they were going out there ---didn't matter how bad they had to go.
It is the perfect day to sit at the computer, knowing there is nowhere to go and nothing to do (except laundry and dinner)....but it is a free day...or so it feels,
Back to my the work at hand:
Balanced and healthy pleasure nurtures our soul. Through our flow of desire comes our zest for living. If we deny or suppress our desires, we can become anxious, depressed, emotionally uninvolved, or distant. List ways you might be judging or denying the natural flow of pleasure in your life and why.
Ouch! I think I covered this in my last post.  
Reflecting on what makes me happy, I can identify the disconnect from nature I feel during this time of year. I don't like the cold. Don't ski, don't skate, snowboard---nothing outdoors in the winter.
So unless I go somewhere warm, which won't happen for another 6 weeks or so, my connection to nature is cut off ---which is a clear source of happiness.
Maybe I should try to go outside? Bundle up? Even 10 minutes?
Is there something I can do indoor that can help?
I remember, not too long ago, in a Zumba class at the gym (by not too long I mean probably a year ago? Ummm...longer than I thought) I remember being exhausted and sweaty--but finally my muscles had warmed up. I knew the steps, I felt the music and my body was singing with complete joy. I felt in my body and yet not of my body as it was my spirit that moved and soared and jumped and laughed and felt free. It was bliss.....
With work and home, I have not had a chance to get to the gym often. When I do go, it has been for yoga/Tai Chi/Pilates. No dance. Hmmm... I will think on this. Can I invite more dance into my life?
How much of this is my own doing? In going back to work, I have not asked for any extra support from the Spouse. Why? I know he is busy. Will he say no? Am I not asking because I enjoy playing the martyr here? Full on mom and working and managing the house? Ah the Superwoman comes out --my Inner Mean Girls have been slyly working their way back to the forefront. Comparison Queen and Superwoman. Woah.
Now that I call them out--their smug, self-congratulatory smiles tell it all. They have been distracting me...but I see them now. Time to put them back where they belong and call on my Inner Wisdom.
She is always there. Calm, waiting. She is not pushy or judgemental, but waits to be invited in.
We will have to have a chat, she and I. I need her now and the other two need to get back to their new jobs I assigned them after Inner Mean Girl Reform School.
Comparison Queen is really my Inspiration Queen - inspiring me to be brave and look at new opportunities that other people have embraced to find ways to encourage me forward.
My Superwoman needs to go back to my Cheerleader - reminding me I am amazing and talented and nothing is too overwhelming if I continue to look after myself first so that I can look after everyone else that I love.
BACK TO WORK LADIES!!

Connect to the physical sensations of what calm happiness feels like in your body. Compare that to how the body feels when it is anxious, sad, or worried. Write down your responses, noting your breathing patterns, muscle tension, and any visceral sense of contraction or ease.
I meditate, almost every day. So it is not all that hard to get recreate that feeling of peace in my body. I just have to remember to do so! Amy Ahlers, I read, sets a timer on her computer so that a tone goes off every 70 minutes. It reminds her to connect to her breathing...be present...reset.
I have tried this--not with the tone--but when I catch my monkey mind (so I hear it is called) running amok with "what ifs" or lengthy angry dialogue directed at people I will never confront.
Sometimes, it takes a while to reset. My shoulders are up around my ears, my chest is tight, my jaw clenched and my breathing shallow. Often my hands are shaking as I try to do three things at once and I can't seem to focus or even hear those around me.
The scary part it, I used to live like that. No wonder I crashed so hard.
I will initiate "the tone"---on my phone perhaps? Not sure yet. I imagine it would be frowned upon in a meeting to have a Tibetan bell mark the moment I need to stand and stretch and reconnect with the earth. 
More thought is required. The idea is sound---the execution needs work.
What does it mean when all the parts of your life are flowing smoothly? What does that look like? How does it feel?
When things are flowing smoothly nothing FEELs as bad. It doesn't mean bad things don't happen; they just don't derail your day.
Days that things are in FLOW you recognize that you may be late due to traffic and decide to enjoy the song on the radio and the sunshine pouring through the window instead of struggling with your cel phone and raging at the drivers in front of you.

On FLOW days you see the love and affection in your dogs' wiggling bodies, not their determination to trip you as you struggle through the door with grocery bags, already late for starting dinner.  
On FLOW days you see the value of taking 15 minutes for a hot soak in the tub.
On FLOW days you are exactly who you are supposed to be and where you are supposed to be without judgement.
On FLOW days you are imperfectly perfect.
On FLOW days you don't feel the need to talk just to contribute.  You know your value.
On FLOW days you know there is no end--you have no where to "get"---you are not failing or flailing or falling or at fault.
On FLOW days --you are enough, exactly as you are.

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones.   The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet. I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection. Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick It is hard work.    And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball. CATCH THIS ONE!   Oooooooof!   I am down.    Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concepts like shame, authenticity, wholeh

Getting to Know My Neighbor in Type B

As a self identified "Type A" behavior "enthusiast", getting to know my neighbor in "Type B" might help me get a handle on why I too often feel like I am banging my head against a wall at work.    But before I get too far, after all, there are a bazillion "self assessment" tests out there from, " What potato chip flavor are you ?" to " Which Prince outfit are you ?" In the 1950's, two cardiologists, Friedman and Rosenman used Type A and Type B as a way to describe behavioral responses associated with how male patients with heard conditions responded to stress in their waiting room.    They observed that some of the men actually wore down the edges of the seats from sitting poised on the edges of the seat and jumping up frequently, (labelled Type A) while others were able to relax in their seats and the wear on the chairs was focused more evenly (labelled Type B).   They went on to invest

Dr. Dr.

When we moved to Brampton I needed to find a family doctor---at 37--not married--two weeks into a new job in a different city--sleeping on an air mattress on the floor while my partner and son were wrapping things up in our London condo where they were still living---I found myself pregant . I went online and found a website that provided the names of doctors in various parts of Ontario who were accepting patients.  Of the few names listed I was immediately attracted to one.  Dr. Patricia Francis--a woman --who had studied in Ireland.  This to me was a sign. I am of Irish background and if you know Brampton at all you will know that finding her seems like a bit of the luck o' the Irish.  I was escorted into a room where a lovely coffee skinned, well dressed woman with a gorgeous South African accent I couldn't place asked the reason for my visit.  I told her I needed to speak to the doctor about a bit of a crisis.  Her eyes popped open as she sat down putting one hand on m