Skip to main content

Retreat!!!


One thing I know is true...words carry energy.   
They are flush with it.  
It overflows into the universe.

Retreat is one of those words.

Yelled on a battle field, it signals withdrawing.. from a hazardous or unpleasant position or condition. It is associated with failure to advance, inability to achieve a goal and implies "you lose". The energy flows in waves-----shame, weakness, fear, anger, despair.

Prefaced by "weekend" or "meditation", retreat carries a completely different energy.  One of peace, safety, introspection, exploration, relaxation and contemplation.

Last weekend I took part in a Wellness Retreat about 2 hours from my home, outside of Cobourg Ontario. 

 Retreat, in this case, encompasses both definitions.  

Frustrated by a block somewhere in my flow of energy (failure to advance) I felt stuck--thigh high, soul sucking, mud stuck. That is how it starts.  

 I have been in full retreat mode before.  Drowning in anger, fear, shame--unable to advance--beating a hasty retreat to a hospital bed waving a white flag of surrender.

Now,  I am smart enough to go get help.  

 So I went to my Naturopath.  Who mentioned a Wellness Retreat she was organizing, just weeks away. I had to go.  The universe offered up the chance to surrender to the muck and mire, stop struggling and just be. 

 The feminine energy would provide a peaceful, safe environment to recharge my batteries, to contemplate what I know to be true.

I am enough.  

It is hard to say.  Try it! 
(Now say it like to mean it.)

I am enough.  Just me.  Just doing what I can do. Each day.  

 I am enough.  

While I would love to be able to articulate in a meaningful way how the weekend went, it is impossible.  

I laughed each day.  I cried each day.  

Baby birds reminded me how beautiful and delicate new life is.  However ready we are to fly, we all have our own time, our own moment. 

The million brilliant points of light--the delicate swirl of far away galaxies--punctuated by speedy satellites zipping by brought wonder at the how tiny we all are---how our time here on this earth is but a blink in the history of the universe.  Awesome.  

Women from all walks of life, each with a story to tell. Judgement free.  
Laughter 'till your belly hurts.  
Tissues passed around while soft souls cradled the pain of others.  
Revelations.  
Reminders.  
Refresh. 
Rebirth.

Sharing food, nourishing the body and soul with companionship.  

Feeding your spirit as well as blessing your body with whole foods to allow it to carry you forward on your path.

Crackling fires.  Meditation.  Yoga. 

I am enough.  

I am not the maid, the cook or the chauffeur.  

My worth is not enumerated by a completed checklist, but by what have I done for myself today to nourish my body, mind, and spirit so that the energy I contribute to the world will provide me with the strength to face the challenges that are out there. 

While I can retreat for a weekend to regroup and recharge, the one thing that remains constant in life is that problems happen.  On firmer ground, moving forward I can face them with a better sense of faith, peace, love and compassion.  

I am enough.





Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Keeping Afloat in Darkness - When Robin Williams is Gone

A few weeks ago Robin Williams was everywhere you looked. People were desperate for details; to find the one thing that assured them that his situation was so different from theirs that they are safe; that it could never be them. But if you suffer from depression, the suicide of such a brilliant, successful, individual; part of our lives for so many years and responsible for so many laughs; looks like a leak in your boat. A friend asked me, "Ok but no one knows what the future holds.  Could he not see that?" For someone drowning in the dark spiral of depression, there is no future. There is only now. There is only nothing.  The boat is gone.  You are under. It is not about your spouse or your friends or your kids or career or fans or dogs or anything.  When the darkness squeezes it is all about now.  And now is nothing.  It is bleak and empty and so dark, you cannot see a bottom, or edges or surface ---just darkness. "Some...
4 comments
There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Being Enough

I am grateful that the chapters in The Gifts of Imperfection are short.  Each one overflows with concepts that ask you to reach down to your very core and dig around a bit with a sharp object.  Sometimes you have to pull back and take a break.  Like at the dentist...when you have to put your hand up...they let you close your mouth for a minute....you stretch your jaw....rinse maybe.  "You ok to continue?" You lie back, take a breath, try to get comfortable, open up, look at the outline of the hand holding the drill backlit by that horrible light...and nod. Not to say it is all bad.  But this chapter on Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough made me uncomfortable in my skin.  I squinted a lot.  Really, really trying to get at what she was saying without having to feel what she is saying....which is not the purpose.  So I had to read the chapter a few times.  Then I fiddled around on Facebook and Outlook to avoid sta...
5 comments
There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones.   The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet. I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection. Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick It is hard work.    And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball. CATCH THIS ONE!   Oooooooof!   I am down.    Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concept...
Post a Comment
There is more good stuff--keep reading»