February - A Time to Pause

If January is the month of dreaming, then February is the month of pause.

This is the time when I will take all the dreaming, the things my heart and soul sang to me in January, and plant them in my heart to see how they might take root in active living.

Right now, they are just seeds of what I want to bring into my life in the next year.

The best things in life are worth waiting for, people say.

Living my purpose,

following my heart,

facing my truth,

finding myself.

Just now seeds: feel, brave, trust, flow and newly discovered receive--will require patience and time--two things I am working on ALWAYS.

In January a quiet pause, amidst the cacophony of my inner mean girls, white sandy beaches, helped me find my focus.

February finds my physical world buried in snow. Buried to the point where there is no where else to put it. I simply cannot lift the shovel any higher. I am no longer shoveling off the deck, I am shoveling UP the deck---to the edge --and then up.

It is a physical reminder that spring is far away. It is too cold, the ground too frozen to plant them outside. Instead I will keep them in my heart; hold them there and let them resonate.

Patience and time.

It is not time to plant them, but time to notice them, acknowledge them, pause and observe.

So for 28 days, I will hold these seeds of 2014 in my heart. A super power pause month to retreat within. Keep warm. Be patient. Live inside of time, not in spite of it.

A return to work will be in the future. But I am in February. I am watching over feel, brave, trust, flow and receive. How they will take root in my life is yet to come.

I will wrap each in a cozy blanket and send them love.

It is all just part of my Work in Progress + Time and Patience.

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Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

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Asking for Help

My oldest son walked into the kitchen last night while I was drying the pot I had just used to make marshmallow squares. He leaned against the wall, eyes downcast, unfocused and spoke in a soft voice: "Mom. Tomorrow. Just so you know. Something has happened and I cannot remember a SINGLE thing about ANY of the stuff that will be on the exam. So. Just so you aren't expecting anything. I am going to fail the exam. Probably need summer school. Will have to quit my job. Will get my university offer rescinded. But it is probably too late for summer school so. It is just all over." I put down the pot and gave him a hug. (no hug back) I told him it was fine. He was fine. He remembered stuff--he had an 87 going into the exam! You can't have marks like that if you don't remember stuff?! Right? I could see the tears forming in his eyes. He still wouldn't look at me. "Ok. Get your jacket we are going for a walk. Your brain is in overload a

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Being Enough

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Work In Progress

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