Taking a Lesson from Work

Maybe it's because I am on this spiritual journey, or maybe it is because I have time to read blogs and cruise the web, but 2014 seems a bit obnoxious so far.  

Really IN YOUR FACE.

Ok so it is not quite like this, but......

....picture in your mind a saloon type town in the old west. 

Got it? 

Ok so now add a slick looking guy standing up on a wooden crate, surrounded by a crowd of people.  Beside the crate is a table, and on it are dozens bottles.

He clears his throat, throws out his arms, and announces:

It's a new year folks! New year.....new YOU! How would you like to tackle your

SPENDING/DRINKING/SELFSABOTAGING/PROCRASTINATING/UNDEREDUCATED/OVERACHIEVING/UNORGANIZED/OVERWEIGHT/GREYINGHAIR/DULL SMILE/SMOKING/BOUNDRYSETTING/DEPRESSED/ANXIOUS/EATINGDISORDER/OBSESSING/INTERNET-DEVICE ADDICTION problems....

 RIGHT NOW!!!

AND IF NOT, WHY NOT?

OMG you think!!! (well OMG probably wasn't around then but...)  

OMG I think I heard a few things in there that I need to fix!!!!  Actually, I KNOW I did and I heard more than one!

OMG, OMG, OMG! There is a LOT to do here!  It is already MID-January and I don't have a plan!!!! 

SEE!! SEE!! Look how UNORGANIZED I am! ACK!!! 

Wait! Now my ANXIETY is kicking in!! 

Ok so let me go get hair dye and teeth whitener while I call a gym for membership fees! 

DAMN! There goes the spending!  

Ok--dye hair with kool-aid and only eat white things from now on--no smoking.   

I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FIX ALL THESE THINGS!  Too DEPRESSING!  Maybe if I just have a drink to relax...AAAAAAA!!!!  

NO ALCOHOL!!!!

Screw it! I give up! I KNEW I couldn't do it!

Reminds me of a scene in Despicable Me II where evil purple minions are running in all directions, yelling incomprehensibly....

I am glad I am taking the month of January to reflect, be open--basically chill out (not hard in these temperatures), to figure out who I want to be as I continue on my journey.

While meditating in the sauna at the gym I asked the universe what it was I needed to know right now and after only a few seconds, the word BRAVE popped into my mind.

So I am borrowing a lesson from work.  

A couple of years ago, my boss gave me three goals for the year and that everything I did at work for that year should touch on one of those three goals as they were my only focus. 

I set up three folders for all my emails and labeled each one with one of the goals.  If an incoming e-mail didn't have something to do with any of these three goals, it went into a folder for "when I get to it or have 15 minutes before the end of the day to see if any of these things can be done in 15 minutes.

It worked wonders and allowed me to set boundaries with those I worked with regarding how I spent my time.

So instead of running around like a crazy purple minion, or buying into whatever guilt-trip induced quick-fix-cure-all I see all over the web and TV, whatever I do for the next year or so will focus on being BRAVE! 

For me that will be trying new knitting patterns, learning how to create a website myself, taking a trip without my kids (first time ever to leave my youngest who is NINE!!!), returning to work after my breakdown over a year ago, clearing space, figuratively and literally, for my Reiki table, continuing my Inner Mean Girl Reform School work by digging deeper and trying to mend my relationship with my partner.  These will all take immense bravery!

To celebrate my dedication to being BRAVE, I went bathing suit shopping for my upcoming trip.  Unsure which looked better, I called my Sista Perfectionista and whispered from the change

room:

I am trying on bathing suits. If I send you two pictures, will you tell me which one you like best?
And if you show anyone I WILL kill you.

Both were black one piece suits---with subtle differences and NO I am not posting the pictures here --BRAVE---NOT crazy!

Surprisingly, I caught myself taking about a dozen photos and then sending her the best.  We texted back and forth about the merits of each one---then I chose the one that looks like a mini dress (and has hip minimizing features! LOL)

After, she texted me:

"...you are truly the bravest woman I know. I'm feeling inspired by your bravery, vulnerability and trust in me.  Brene Brown is getting goosebumps and wondering why."

I replied:

"I just trust you Sista!!!!"

...and I do.  So maybe I will add trust to the list. 

To date, January has unveiled I want to be a person who FEELS, is BRAVE and extends her heart in trust to others she cares about for safekeeping!

Work in Progress.....continues.....