January is the month of dreaming, and as February approaches I have in my pocket, four seeds---the beginnings of somethings that will be beautiful and wild and strong.
My Sista Perfectionista often talks how our thoughts are seeds we plant in the fertile garden of our mind. The more we water each seed, the more it grows.
Too often, I water the seeds of guilt, shame, fear.....their roots run deep.
Over the last year, I have been preparing for this time. While not yet spring in the real world, the world of my soul work is ripe for planting. Rich, loamy soil has been prepared. The sun is shining and the watering can is within my reach. Inside small mounds of dark soil I plant my seeds.
Feel. Allow the heart to have its say. Logic has a place, but feel your way through things, even uncomfortable ones--ones that hurt and ones that allow for joy and love. Just FEEL.
Brave. Take a leap. Don't let fear limit my potential to experience greatness. Do the most brave thing in the world--be vulnerable. Do what scares you and the bravery comes after.
Trust. Trust in myself and others. Reach out and give my heart. Let people help me. Trust in their word when they say they are there for me. Accept help.
Flow. Life is full of ups and downs. Let the flow come. Allow myself to be in the flow and ride the waves and recognize I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Only discord and disaster come when I fight against what is.
Already I have found opportunities to make these words resonate in my heart, my head, and my soul.
I took a trip with the Spouse and left my youngest at home with my sister. I have never left him---I was BRAVE. I TRUSTED my sister.
Taking the trip alone was a big BRAVE moment for me. I allowed myself to FEEL my fears, acknowledge that this was a big step for me and TRUSTED that the universe had put this free trip in front of me as an opportunity to be BRAVE.
While away, I did some reef snorkeling. The movie Jaws changed the way I lived and still, I paddled along the reef and swam over areas where below me, an abyss sheltered all sorts of imagined horrors. My BRAVERY was rewarded with an encounter with a puffer fish!
When I returned from the trip. I watered FEEL and FLOW as I tried to reconnect with a life where the Spouse was travelling for work and I was on my own and had to attend to the daily things that make up life. I am still working through this one. Returning to a snow filled driveway, no groceries, tons of laundry, my sister bitten by my dog and a few other unexpected surprises have turned my focus away from my seeds. I am slowly making my way back to them though. It will take time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be...
...a Work in Progress....