Work In Progress

Enrobed by an inch think layer of ice, my back deck gazebo glows in the early morning darkness.  This has been one of the challenges with continuing my early morning practice of getting up before everyone else to have some sacred time to write or meditate---the morning  darkness.  Summertime meant taking my laptop to the deck, where the trill of birdsong and the gentle breeze across my arms caressed my senses awake---reminding me of the power of the universe---and the glory of being part of it.  Winter meant returning to the dining room where the warmth of the furnace and sound of the refrigerator running were poor replacements.  Still, the birdfeeder offered up a view of nature, albeit through glass the helped keep the connection.   Without knowing it, I had created a sacred place to work and craft and connect with myself and nature.  At this table I create and write and meditate (half lotus on the d...

I have been doing a bit of reading, or well listening, on this topic beyond "The Gifts of Imperfection" to see if I can unravel what exactly everyone means by meaningful work/higher calling/life's purpose/soul's work.  These phrases are tossed around a lot by the likes of Oprah, Deepak Chopra, and recently in a telejam (I love that word!) by Martha Beck , Lissa Rankin and Amy Ahlers . called Find Your Calling: Awaken Your Life Purpose, Clarify Your Vision & Do Your Soul's Work   which you should be able to access as a recording.  While everyone comes at it a bit differently, the essential message is the same: we all have something within us that we were meant to share or do or create in this lifetime and wasting that gift, denying your purpose will cause extreme distress in your life which can be manifested in a myriad of ways.    We often feel bound by what others and the world in general hold up as the measure for success, or by what soci...

Today is December 16, 2013.  365 days ago, I was still in the adult mental health unit of the hospital waiting for discharge.  I was there voluntarily, so technically could check myself out at any time, but I knew that I needed to be there.  I  had this tug-of-war inside my head-- to go home to be with my family for Christmas or stay in the warm, loving care of the hospital staff as long as I could.  At the hospital, life was simple; eat, exercise, listen, learn, read, watch tv, take meds, sleep.   Some patients came and went in my 17 day stay; held on a 24 or 48 hour hold to allow their suicidal ideation to pass, adjust their meds or give them a soft place to land for a day or two.  Some patients were regulars; one gentleman leaving a few days after I arrived, only to return on the day I left, wearing his pajamas, toting a pillowcase full of his belongings to be checked in at the nurses station.   "Hi guys.  I'm back...

I have quoted Star Wars before in some of my posts and I seem to be reaching back to one line that you hear a variation of in  each and every movie. "I've got a bad feeling about this." It's not so much the doom and gloom of the quote, (since every time someone says that, of course there is some imminent crisis to thwart),  but the intuitive nature of each of the characters that say it.  They know something is wrong---whether they have dropped into a trash compactor or are in the stomach of a space slug, each of them gets this "gut" feeling that something is not right. It's about intuition.   Faced with doubt about the likelihood of their undertaking, each character faces or braces for the bad feeling to turn into a bad thing. Nobody runs away. If you feel.....if you really deep down in your core...all internal voices saying, "THIS IS A BAD IDEA"....and we have the choice (ie to fly out of the slug's belly before ...