Skip to main content

Open House, Open Heart

It's funny how the universe sends you things you need....when you need them most.  Two days ago the radio was blaring the warning that Christmas was only a month away.  Yesterday it reminded everyone that a month from now all the Christmas hubbub would be over and you would be left with a mess or alternatively, standing in line somewhere to save $50 off a TV you really don't need.
I have to admit, I would love to go back to a time when I was just the kid...and the only thing I had to do was browse the Sears Wishbook (over and over)---or tag along behind my Nana as we paused at each of the meticulously decorated windows at the Simpsons building downtown in the 'big city'.  Stress was reserved for grownups.  I dreamed of sleigh bells in the air, snowmen I would build and the smell of eggnog and aftershave as 50 or more people filled out house each Christmas Eve.  Cookies were consumed, candy jars raided, fires crackled and laughter filled the house with a loving energy.
Now, my extended family is fractured some and through the years people have drifted apart or moved away (that would be me).  My mom now winters in Florida, and my dad has passed.  Those times I remember as a child will never be again and I have made little effort to recreate my own version of a house filled with love and life on a big scale.
I miss it.
Christmas now means remembering gifts for teachers and bus drivers and colleagues. Baking and freezing cookies we seldom ever consume, in an attempt to bring one piece from my past into today.  It means worrying about gifts--too many--too few--too big---to small and wishing I could slow the days down to enjoy the carols, the snow.
We have new traditions though which will now be traditions to my kids who will grow up knowing nothing else.  We still watch the old children's Christmas classics....we put out milk and cookies and for our Christmas dinner (even if it is a bucket of fast food chicken --which it was the Christmas I had a one month old!)  we pop Christmas crackers--wear the hats--and share the riddles of jokes.
What came my way today that put me in this reflective state of mine was Lisa-Jo Baker's blog post :

The tired mother's holiday creed via
The Tired Mother's Holiday Creed.  I will print and post this on my fridge.  It feels familiar.  It feels right.  It feels like the perfect thing I needed to read today.


Popular posts from this blog

Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones.

The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet.
I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection.

Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick

It is hard work.

And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball.
CATCH THIS ONE!Oooooooof!I am down.

Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concepts like shame, authenticity, wholeheartedness, courage, compassion, connect…

Taking a Lesson from Work

Maybe it's because I am on this spiritual journey, or maybe it is because I have time to read blogs and cruise the web, but 2014 seems a bit obnoxious so far.  
Really IN YOUR FACE. Ok so it is not quite like this, but...... ....picture in your mind a saloon type town in the old west. 

Got it? 

Ok so now add a slick looking guy standing up on a wooden crate, surrounded by a crowd of people.  Beside the crate is a table, and on it are dozens bottles.
He clears his throat, throws out his arms, and announces:

AND IF NOT, WHY NOT? OMG you think!!! (well OMG probably wasn't around then but...)  

OMG I think I heard a few things in there that I need to fix!!!!  Actually, I KNO…

Lesson's From Frozen and Taylor Swift

"Let it go....let it go...." and "Shake it off...shake it off."
I alternate between these two borrowed mantra for this time--- when the world seems too loud and bright. Even my clothes touching my skin is too much.  I yank off my sweater, and hop step out of my pants while walking upstairs to my room after work, finally able to breath once the edges of sleeves, cowls of turtlenecks and waistbands of tights no longer feel like burning, scratching sun burn.   
My skin feels too tight as I try to keep myself together in this package that is required to carry out my daily tasks.  
"This is not my circus. These are not my monkeys."
"Your lack of planning is not my emergency."
It is far too easy to get caught up in the drama of things that are so divisive---as you try to separate yourself by thinking it is not your problem or it is not my fault or I am better than this or I don't need anyone - when we should be connecting to each other in a supportive …