Often, my 10 minute "just quick check of the e-mail" tempts me with so many blog posts, e-mail followings, promises of deep discount vacations, and Groupons/Dealfinds I find myself 3 hours later, lost in funny animal videos and have no idea how I got there. Just one more video I tell myself.
The Internet is often my main source of news, entertainment and communication (To save time, I often combine a few of those things by just browsing my 108 "friends'" statuses on Facebook. Graham is always good for a laugh, Jen has the weather, Michelle the news both world and celebrity and Carrie has the environment and health.) If anything looks interesting from their posts, I did deeper. My "friends" have become my filter for what I need to know. And you know what, they do a pretty good job. Trying to figure out what I need to know would be too overwhelming.
At no other time in history has media been so available, to so many, so quickly. It's overwhelming.
A friend of mine recently posted on her Facebook status that in her first year English class, the professor asked for hands up if you knew details about Miley Cyrus's recent performance at the MMVAs. All hands went up. Then the professor asked for hands up if you knew details about what was going on in Syria. Only a few hands went up.
(Her status then made me go look up the Miley Cyrus issue as I had no idea. I left Syria for another day. I can only handle one world crisis at a time....because you would think with the amount of press....Miley's behavior deserved world attention.)
I think there would be a market out there for people to customize streams of information for those technophobes who have computers but are not sure what to do with them and end up using them for e-mail and who, when they get a new computer or smartphone, are amazed that their Hotmail contacts have magically been transferred to their new device. (Yes that was my mother---so I talked slowly about servers and clouds---drew some pictures----I think she got it. She, by the way, considers herself technologically savvy compared to her peer group. Which, is probably true!)
I actually saw an add in the Brampton Guardian---someone is looking for a tutor to help them learn about their laptop, their LG phone and their digital camera. With technology advancing at an exponential rate, it is impossible to keep up, even for people who work with technology every day.
When I got MY new smartphone I took it to work after a weekend of playing with it to show it off. I compared with others who had i-technology---and passed it around for BB users who were thinking of upgrading. The phone hadn't come with a manual (that was online ---so challenge one for anyone who gets this type of technology---you have to know how to use it to get to the document that tells you how to use it.....)
Back at my desk, the phone rang. I had uploaded an image of the Spouse and could see it on the screen. I pressed the green button that appeared. Nothing happened. I pressed on the red X on the screen. Nothing happened. I tried the green one again. Nothing.
Eventually the phone stopped ringing. My face, flushed with frustration, quickly exploded in a layer of sweat when I looked up to see my staff staring at me, clearly having been distracted from their work by the incessant ringing. The phone rang again. Again, I tried pressing the green or red button on the screen to answer. It was a touch tone screen after all! What was I doing wrong!!
I marched into the office where the IT guys sat and saw R.
"Hey I hear you got a new phone?"
"Yeah. It's great. Here. Hold it a second."
I picked up the landline on his desk and quickly dialed my number. The phone started to ring.
"Ok so now answer it."
R pressed the green button. Nothing. Then the red button. Then he tried double tapping the buttons. Nothing. Eventually the phone stopped ringing.
"Huh. That's werid."
"Tell me about it. I have had the phone three days now and until now it hasn't rung once. The blessing of having no friends I suppose, but how the hell do I answer it?"
"Does it dial out?"
"YES, YES, I have called people on it a few times."
I took the phone back, glanced at his extension and punched in the number and extension. His phone rang. I looked at him like SEE! SEE! I told you!!! I was getting irritated that the IT guy had no idea. If he had no idea how was I supposed to know this stuff!
I used his phone and called my number again. For the first two rings, R critically examined the screen . This time he touched the green button and swiped to the left. The phone picked up.
"There ya go. It's a swipe! Touch the green button and then swipe right. Or, touch the red X and swipe left to disconnect or send the call to voicemail! Cool!"
He returned my phone with a smile and I tossed a quick thanks over my shoulder as I walked back to my desk.
So now I know how to answer my phone; thanks to someone with more patience and less panic and judgment. He was just happy he figured it out.
When I began this post, my objective was to share something that I found online, that to me has some value and is a great segue into Guidepost #7 -- Cultivating Play and Rest. I probably found it on someone's Facebook post --and with so much out there, I wanted to spend another 10 minutes assuring you it would be worth reading. But then I got off track a bit. So here I am back on the track (this happens to me all the time in recovery. I start talking about one thing and then I go off or see something else that has to be done and get distracted and .....yeah...like that...) FOCUSING!
This piece is from the Huffington Post comedy section. It is me all over. Kelly Maclean's humorous retelling of a visit to Whole Foods explains who I am, my sense of humor and how I often feel as I try to reconcile my attempts at healthy living with the shame I feel at not emptying my bank account to do so (because I actually do not have the wealth of a princess, the crown was for my tooth. Very disappointing. You won't get that unless you read my previous post about me getting a crown at the dentist--ok, well now you don't need to read it I guess.....)
By the time I was two paragraphs in I was reading through tears. You know the kind---between laughing and the absurdity and crying at the truths that get you deep down.
Here is a taste of it.....and it is worth the 3 or 4 minutes it will take you to read it. I promise!
Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.
Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods' clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion... until they get to the parking lot. Then it's war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says 'NAMASTE'. Poor lady didn't even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.