Skip to main content

The Summer of my Disconnect

Lately we have been having some trouble with our Internet.  The connection is there, then gone, then there, then gone and  my frustration is on the rise.  Usually, mornings are problem free, but today, trying to get quick updates and even comment on posts has sent me to rest my connection more times than I can count. Right now I am sitting at the top of my stairs---trying to get closer to the router for connectivity.....in my pjs...breakfast cooking behind me unattended....ACK!!

So today I will take that as a sign to take a day off.  I am pretty sure I said,  "Just a couple more minutes", "let me just check to see if I have any texts on my phone honey", "Hang on while I finish this sentence", "I just have one more thing to read...I'll be right there."

I found myself frustrated and snippy that I couldn't just get lost out here whenever I felt like it all day.   My brain felt foggy and I felt completely disconnected from my family--thoughts of what I read or what I wanted to write consuming my thoughts as I used autopilot to complete housework and meals. 

So today, I am going to close this.  Sure I need my time, but with the Internet issues I will only continue to be frustrated and wander back to the computer all day connecting, reconnecting, trying to check in with the virtual world.

Today I will stay in the real world.  With my real kids and real dogs and real laundry (ugh) and a real trip to the grocery store! LOL 
My step son Noah (his), Jake (ours), Alex (mine) 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones.   The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet. I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection. Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick It is hard work.    And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball. CATCH THIS ONE!   Oooooooof!   I am down.    Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concepts like shame, authenticity, wholeh
Post a Comment
There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Asking for Help

My oldest son walked into the kitchen last night while I was drying the pot I had just used to make marshmallow squares.  He leaned against the wall, eyes downcast, unfocused and spoke in a soft voice: "Mom.  Tomorrow.  Just so you know.  Something has happened and I cannot remember a SINGLE thing about ANY of the stuff that will be on the exam.  So.  Just so you aren't expecting anything.  I am going to fail the exam.  Probably need summer school.  Will have to quit my job.  Will get my university offer rescinded. But it is probably too late for summer school so.  It is just all over." I put down the pot and gave him a hug.  (no hug back) I told him it was fine. He was fine. He remembered stuff--he had an 87 going into the exam! You can't have marks like that if you don't remember stuff?! Right? I could see the tears forming in his eyes.  He still wouldn't look at me. "Ok.  Get your jacket we are going for a walk.  Your brain is in overload a
4 comments
There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Being Enough

I am grateful that the chapters in The Gifts of Imperfection are short.  Each one overflows with concepts that ask you to reach down to your very core and dig around a bit with a sharp object.  Sometimes you have to pull back and take a break.  Like at the dentist...when you have to put your hand up...they let you close your mouth for a minute....you stretch your jaw....rinse maybe.  "You ok to continue?" You lie back, take a breath, try to get comfortable, open up, look at the outline of the hand holding the drill backlit by that horrible light...and nod. Not to say it is all bad.  But this chapter on Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging, and Being Enough made me uncomfortable in my skin.  I squinted a lot.  Really, really trying to get at what she was saying without having to feel what she is saying....which is not the purpose.  So I had to read the chapter a few times.  Then I fiddled around on Facebook and Outlook to avoid starting this post. She starts out
5 comments
There is more good stuff--keep reading»