Steve Wiens on Courage

Often, in the adult day treatment program, we were reminded we were courageous for being there. It was a choice after all. We were recommended for the program, but by no means obliged to attend. It was our choice to come each day, listen, explore, reflect, learn, cry, share and often by the end of the day go home numb or exhausted or exhilarated depending on how deep we had had to dig that day. We were reminded that 2 in 5 Canadians suffer from some sort of mental illness and we were courageously facing ours, trying to learn how to cope.

I never thought about it being courageous. I thought about it as cowardly. I thought I was hiding away from the real world.

Today I read an amazing post by Steve Wiens - The Actual Pastor - who I refer to on here quite often. He is one of my favorite "real" people just trying to figure it out as he goes.

He admits this is a repost --from his archive--for a friend who will need some courage in the near future. For me, it is a reminder of all the courageous things I have done and as I face some tough decisions in the future---what I will need to get through it all.

I cannot say it better than he can. What courageous things have you done? What do you need to tap into courage to decide to do?

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Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones. The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet. I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection. Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick It is hard work. And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball. CATCH THIS ONE! Oooooooof! I am down. Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concepts like shame, authenticity, wholeh

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Dr. Dr.

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Asking for Help

My oldest son walked into the kitchen last night while I was drying the pot I had just used to make marshmallow squares. He leaned against the wall, eyes downcast, unfocused and spoke in a soft voice: "Mom. Tomorrow. Just so you know. Something has happened and I cannot remember a SINGLE thing about ANY of the stuff that will be on the exam. So. Just so you aren't expecting anything. I am going to fail the exam. Probably need summer school. Will have to quit my job. Will get my university offer rescinded. But it is probably too late for summer school so. It is just all over." I put down the pot and gave him a hug. (no hug back) I told him it was fine. He was fine. He remembered stuff--he had an 87 going into the exam! You can't have marks like that if you don't remember stuff?! Right? I could see the tears forming in his eyes. He still wouldn't look at me. "Ok. Get your jacket we are going for a walk. Your brain is in overload a

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