Friday, 7 June 2013

So it's NOT Just Me?

Once upon a time I thought I was alone in this.  When I had my first crisis let's call it....I lived in a small town in Northern British Columbia.  I had access to a therapist and a psychiatrist so I was lucky in that way.  However, I did not get to experience the power of working in a group setting, sharing with others to discover I was not the only one struggling with anxiety, depression etc.
 
This time around, fragile me was placed in a hospital environment and just allowed to see that there was a me underneath of  "job me", "mom me", "house cleaner me", "homework checker me", etc.  I was pretty small while the other identities were all sharp corners -- bold and brassy and larger than life.  So then tiny amorphous me went to group sessions and met others.  We talked about what we were going through, how we felt helpless, lonely and out of control to stop it all. It was a safe community at the hospital --- and my world of support grew a bit bigger.  I was not alone. There were at least 20 others who I could now relate to, draw strength from, learn to listen and empathize with and maybe even help a bit. This world was pretty small, but certainly bigger than I ever thought existed before.
 
Since I have been home and off work, I have discovered an whole WORLD out there of people who are talking about anxiety and perfectionism and depression and addiction struggling to successfully get through the days like Glennon Doyle Melton.  There are experts devoting their careers to the research of shame who have experienced a "breakdown spiritual awakening" like Brene Brown.  And there are regular people talking about their struggles like Steve Weins and even me.
 
While I have been having trouble reading I have actually been exploring the world of  TED talks and TEDx talks.  Both Glennon and Brene have fabulous ones! Another source of inspiration has been the Huffington Post where you can find a little bit of everything ---but it does include a lot of personal stories, reminder lessons, etc. I find reading one thing leads to another article, to another and another.  I watched Glennon's TEDx talk last night and it was very powerful.

So why is it that I have never heard of any of these people? 

A good friend and I were talking months ago---reconnecting after my hospital visit--and we commented on how so easy it was to get overwhelmed and yet everyone around us seemed to manage it all with a smile, homemade brownies, perfect husband/kids and sparkling house. 


So if there are so many people talking about it---and how coping is hard---was it just that I wasn't listening?  Thought it was hokum (to borrow a term from Sheldon Cooper)?  Or didn't think it applied to me, so changed the channel?

3 comments:

  1. OOHH!!! YES!! I do agree it is like an antenna or the frequencies we tune into is what we hear! How wonderful you are finding new and beneficial ppl!

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  2. Frequencies...yes..we hear what we want to hear when we are not ready to face the truth. It's the mind's way of coping, and evolving - and it's only when we are ready to face the truth that all this stuff comes out. But at least you are armed with information, and open to understanding that this is a part of you too.

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  3. Thanks ladies! The hard part is still trying to remember it is not something you "complete". I remember when I got divorced--I felt liberated in some ways --blinders off to a whole new world of possibilities. I have to try to recapture that sense of anything is possible and just sit with that thought for awhile ---- leaving the antenna up for whatever possibilities come my way. Ask the Universe for whatever I need and then hope all this work means I can recognize it when I see it---and be brave enough to jump at it even if it is scary.

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