Helping Yourself

One of the things I have been working on is being more present. More in the moment. More mindful.

I am acutely aware of the way the warm breeze caresses my arms, my face. Coffee tastes exquisite. My son's hands are softness, his head gently resting on my shoulder while we read together spreads a warm contentment throughout my body. The wonder of complex birdsong. The feel of my own body---grown larger--- but now relaxed in new, larger fitting clothes---acceptance. I am aware of more subtle things as well.

I am trying to be open to the message the universe has for me. At a time where I feel lost, and confused about what a am "supposed to do" I have put the question out there...."universe...what do I need?" And in response, I feel like I can see in front of me, a hand extended. Just take my hand. It will be ok. Trust. Faith. Love. Acceptance.

I am not a religious person (though I think religion is fascinating and would love to go back to school to study it)--in that I don't go to church (though I love churches)..but I do believe in the cosmos--the universe--the energy that holds us all together and makes us at our core...the same part of one big community.

The reality though is...I think the extended hand is mine. I think another me sits smiling and content and wants me to join her. To take her hand and it will be ok. Not easy, not perfect, not horrid--just what is it supposed to be. I know the answers. They are there. I will find them.

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Keeping Afloat in Darkness - When Robin Williams is Gone

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Being Enough

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Camping vs. Yellow-Orange Summer Sleep-away Haven

It has been made abundantly clear to me via my 15 year old step-son that setting up a tent in the backyard is not camping. In fact, he goes so far as to 'air quote' camping each time he refers to my now obsession with sleeping in a tent in the backyard. He claims camping occurs at a campsite, in a campground. (I am sure anyone who hikes and sets up in the wilderness is now 'air quoting' his use of the word 'camping'.) It is all a matter of perspective I suppose. Nevertheless, I get what he is saying. So it seems to me that this now begs the question---what do you call it when you set up a tent in your back yard and sleep in it for a month? (minus the two days that there were extreme hail and thunderstorm warnings) Bohemian backyarding? Tenting? Suburban Sleeping Out? Lazy Stay-cay? Whatever it is called, I am forever in love with it. Which is an amazing thing to me because: a) I am a light sleep...

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Work In Progress

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