Helping Yourself

One of the things I have been working on is being more present. More in the moment. More mindful.

I am acutely aware of the way the warm breeze caresses my arms, my face. Coffee tastes exquisite. My son's hands are softness, his head gently resting on my shoulder while we read together spreads a warm contentment throughout my body. The wonder of complex birdsong. The feel of my own body---grown larger--- but now relaxed in new, larger fitting clothes---acceptance. I am aware of more subtle things as well.

I am trying to be open to the message the universe has for me. At a time where I feel lost, and confused about what a am "supposed to do" I have put the question out there...."universe...what do I need?" And in response, I feel like I can see in front of me, a hand extended. Just take my hand. It will be ok. Trust. Faith. Love. Acceptance.

I am not a religious person (though I think religion is fascinating and would love to go back to school to study it)--in that I don't go to church (though I love churches)..but I do believe in the cosmos--the universe--the energy that holds us all together and makes us at our core...the same part of one big community.

The reality though is...I think the extended hand is mine. I think another me sits smiling and content and wants me to join her. To take her hand and it will be ok. Not easy, not perfect, not horrid--just what is it supposed to be. I know the answers. They are there. I will find them.

Comments

Shame is A Full-Contact Emotion (Brené Brown)

It is a cool outside this morning and I have on my fluffy red robe as I sit outside and watch the birds flit back and forth from the fence to the feeder----arrogantly tossing aside imperfect sunflower seeds to get to the good ones.

The discarded seeds, some empty, some full, punctuate my deck, waiting for the squirrels, who will later claim this easy buffet.
I am still reading Brené and The Gifts of Imperfection.

Feels a bit like learning a new language ---I see the words---I hear the words---but the meaning is so diffuse...I need to read and reread and sometimes, even read out loud to make the words stick

It is hard work.

And while the smooth cover of her book lies balanced on my palm, seemingly weightless, many of the concepts have a density that knocks me flat on my ass ---like a large medicine ball.
CATCH THIS ONE!Oooooooof!I am down.

Eyes wide, trying to catch my breath, wrestling with the weight of hefty concepts like shame, authenticity, wholeheartedness, courage, compassion, connect…

There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Getting to Know My Neighbor in Type B

As a self identified "Type A" behavior "enthusiast", getting to know my neighbor in "Type B" might help me get a handle on why I too often feel like I am banging my head against a wall at work.
But before I get too far, after all, there are a bazillion "self assessment" tests out there from, "What potato chip flavor are you?" to "Which Prince outfit are you?"
In the 1950's, two cardiologists, Friedman and Rosenman used Type A and Type B as a way to describe behavioral responses associated with how male patients with heard conditions responded to stress in their waiting room.
They observed that some of the men actually wore down the edges of the seats from sitting poised on the edges of the seat and jumping up frequently, (labelled Type A) while others were able to relax in their seats and the wear on the chairs was focused more evenly (labelled Type B).
They went on to investigate further, testing and proving at that …

There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Taking a Lesson from Work

Maybe it's because I am on this spiritual journey, or maybe it is because I have time to read blogs and cruise the web, but 2014 seems a bit obnoxious so far.
Really IN YOUR FACE. Ok so it is not quite like this, but...... ....picture in your mind a saloon type town in the old west.

Got it?

Ok so now add a slick looking guy standing up on a wooden crate, surrounded by a crowd of people. Beside the crate is a table, and on it are dozens bottles.
He clears his throat, throws out his arms, and announces:

It's a new year folks! New year.....new YOU! How would you like to tackle your SPENDING/DRINKING/SELFSABOTAGING/PROCRASTINATING/UNDEREDUCATED/OVERACHIEVING/UNORGANIZED/OVERWEIGHT/GREYINGHAIR/DULL SMILE/SMOKING/BOUNDRYSETTING/DEPRESSED/ANXIOUS/EATINGDISORDER/OBSESSING/INTERNET-DEVICE ADDICTION problems....
RIGHT NOW!!!
AND IF NOT, WHY NOT? OMG you think!!! (well OMG probably wasn't around then but...)

OMG I think I heard a few things in there that I need to fix!!!! Actually, I KNO…

There is more good stuff--keep reading»

Work In Progress

Search This Blog